I sleep; I dream; I awake; I do coffee; I get dressed; I read; I get on with the day. I have different expectations for the day; I consider the reality of options and my need for versatility. And then … a storm comes. I’m blown off my course, my expectations. Waves, rain, and darkened skies give me nothing to work with. At some point, I am far from where I want to be.
“Above and below, Hurricane force 12 wind speeds over 100mph, striping the surface off the sea causing it to smoke as if on fire.” Safehaven Marine’s photo gallery
I’ve sat with countless folks … pondering many questions, including: “Am I ever going to get better?”; “Is this going to change?” For me, its the storms. Storms have been coming for a long time. I don’t think they are going to change. My addictions are coffee (possibly); books; writing; blogging; chocolate; movies (PG-13 from the library). My storms are my depression, my secondary PTSD (from being in the counseling field for 162 years (slight exaggeration), my son who has special needs, memories of people caught in their pain, and memories of people I have worked with who have completed suicide (more than I can remember).
And the storms keep coming. And when those storms come, I am blown off the blogging course. Weeks go by, sometimes before I can write a post. That’s strange, because the blogging has become like an anchor for me. Accept my apologies for my lack of consistency with blogging. I’m glad that you guys are consistent … I love your blogs.
(Some powerful footage, a ship at sea in the thick of a storm: