Posers, fakers, counterfeits, chameleons, pleasers, politicians: “Blah-Blah-Blah.”
Talk is cheap? Nooooo, nothing is cheap.
A guy comes up to another guy, shakes his hand and says, with a ponderous- photogenic face: “You are a good man.”
The second guy thinks to himself, He’s probably a salesman, and he’s got something to sell … and then he says to the first guy: “Thanks. But, how do you know that?”
The first guy explains that he knows him. The second guy says, “Yeah? Cool. How do you know me?”
The first guy says “I met you at a Christmas party last year.”
The second guy says “Actually, that is how you met me. But that doesn’t mean you know me.”
There is a stretch of death-like silence that has poured out like molasses. The salesman type appears to be a bit uncomfortable, and he has the famous “O-Look”: a mouth open, shaped liked an “O”, that accompanies a) speechlessness, b) facial expression of disorientation; and c) eyes resembling those of a deer staring into a pair of approaching headlights.
After almost a minute of wordlessness, the second guy says in a calm, low, whispery voice: “You really don’t know much about me, do you? (pause) Are you trying to motivate me?”
The first guy shrugged his shoulders, gestures his hands with palms open, as if he did not know what to say.
The second guy then said, “Look, I realize you are probably trying to do something … nice … but I don’t need someone I don’t know, someone who does not know me, to do something nice for me, like motivation. Your words lack power, authenticity, empathy.”
The two men made eye contact for another thirty seconds in continued silence, and slowly walked away in different directions.
Under his breath, the second guy whispered, in a contemplative manner, “Blah … Blah … and, more Blah.”
As individuals, we do not always know what another is going through. We have no idea about their dark night of the soul. We have not walked in their shoes. A man cannot pay his bills; the dryer quit working, there is no money to get it fixed. His car is dying.
Authenticity in relationships. As men, we have a fear of being known; and we have a great desire of being known.