“Bro: yes, there is a problem.
A friend from the distant past had a sign above his door: “Now, what?”
I connected with the question, my thoughts and my strategies a part of “Now, what?”
Hypothetical: a man asked, “Well? Is this a problem? Or is it an opportunity?” I smiled at the older codger, filled up with himself. I slowly moved my head left to right, and simultaneously said “Yes“. A confused look appeared on to his face. “What the heck do you mean? You are shaking your head, which means ‘No’ … and you are saying ‘Yes’, which means … “Yes’. Which one is it?”
Fortunately, my mischievous tomfoolery was hidden, knowing that I had managed to bring some disruption to the man. Yes, the old motivational quip most of us have seen for years and years does apply, to some degree.
“A problem is an opportunity in disguise.”
But, if a fellow is in deep yogurt, his anxiety alarmingly high, chances are he is not thinking of a motivational poster with a cool picture and words about a problem being an opportunity. The wilder man may just want a solution to his problem, have no interest in an opportunity.
Some of us men have found ourselves in a crazed-pickle, with the only opportunity we saw was the opportunity to get our butts kicked, in some form or fashion. For those who have the problem-solving “opportunities” wrapped up like a Christmas present, congratulations. But some of us have not yet fully arrived at this state of transcendence. Here are some out-of-the-box thoughts that I have come up with while walking down the Rolling Creek Trail:
- Two are better than one, especially when the yogurt is deep … depending on who the “other” one is, obviously;
- When problems, or “opportunities” come up, this is a serious place where negativity rises up like a bunch of hoodlums going after a wilder man;
- Admittedly, opportunity comes with problems, but we may be oblivious to such unless / until we change our thinking for the better;
- Denial and procrastination are both options, but not good ones, and fear often fuels both of these thugs.
Within this realm, of “opportunity-solving”, there are perspectives close by that can help, or hinder. Here is one: “A problem is not a problem if there is no solution; it is a situation … and I have no choice but to deal with the situation.” A dangerous move is to embrace the phrase “I have no choice”. We always have a choice. And if a problem is (also) a situation, that does not mean that we quit looking for a solution. The solution may in fact show itself, but not immediately.
The journeys of good wilder men mean that we bring our tools with us: initiative, courage, confidence, teachability, good relationships, wisdom, realism, optimism, vision, creativity, a sense of urgency, and sharpened awareness skills. Oh, and two more things: humor and hope. Until next time. T